This is super-late in the day, but it still counts. I really wanted to write a post today (despite my recent absence) because today marks 9 years to the date of the stroke I had in 2003.
I think I mentioned this last year and/or the year before, but it is always a surreal day for me. Mainly because it is a day that ENTIRELY changed my life, and not only for the worse. It’s pretty encouraging to see how far I’ve come since then.
I really wanted to get some pictures of myself today — not glamorous shots, but shots of, for example, the scars on my left arm from a major IV I had while at the hospital, as well as the big C-shaped scar running down my head (which no one normally sees because of all my hair — not an accident). I wanted to commemorate this day by showing you the reminders of my brain injury that will never go away, even once my physical weaknesses do. They are here as a gentle tattoo, never letting me forget what I’ve been through.
Not that I’m allowed the luxury of forgetting, anyway, what with the slight remnants of my hemiplegia, but the scars bring me back to a more dramatic place, a place where I was cut open and stapled back together, needles inserted seemingly everywhere. Back to when a portion of my skull had been removed from my head and temporarily placed into a freezer. Remembering the fascination, and slight terror, of being conscious and watching the screen as the doctors threaded a catheter up an artery in my body from groin to brain(!!!) during an angiogram, after being told not to move a muscle for my own safety.
And today, my biggest health complaint is the fact that I’m nursing a cold I induced on myself by some recent poor decisions — not sleeping adequately, putting my workouts on hold, and forgetting to take my vitamins. (I know. I should know better.)
The reason for my recent hiatus is I’ve recently started a new business (a jewelry one — check it out at premierpamela.tumblr.com), which has kept me busy and empowered, because if there’s anything entrepreneurship is about it’s about taking control of your own growth and your future, whether financial or not. Today my business team member Meghan (my business “mom”) told me how inspiring it was that 9 years ago I was in the aforementioned place and that today I was out working my new business (which is why I was unable to get those photos in time).
What do you think? If this is applicable to you, how do you feel on your anniversary? Leave a comment below. By the way, I will get the pictures in ASAP.
To our healing (and I’ll be back soon),