Why rant about these unobservant people’s laziness? Because, actually, a lot of people we encounter out in daily society are just that, unobservant and/or simply not the kinds of people to give much thought to what they see before them.
All right, first of all: Happy Hallowe’en! I hope everyone’s had a fantastically spooky and festive All Hallow’s Eve weekend. After spending something like two days straight of putting the final details of my costume together, I managed to make a very late appearance in the city as the Pixar lamp, Luxo, Jr. If you’re unfamiliar, check out the Pixar short that is the origin of their logo.
Alas, all the work I put into it was almost for naught, as only one or two people bothered to put two and two together rather than immediately asking me what I was.
It applied to my costume and it applies to our own healing needs.
This point became all the more exacerbated even when it came to me and one of my good friends lately, who recently confessed to me a need for my compassion and understanding in dealing with something he’s recovering from. Like profound heartbreak, what he suffered from was invisible, but a problem nonetheless. In retrospect, I now realize that he’s on occasion requested certain behaviors of me that I — and our other friends — didn’t fully understand.
Of course we didn’t understand; there hadn’t been full disclosure.
I want to remind you that once you’ve figured out who your friends are, it is up to you to make your emotional needs known. Not having been through what you have automatically means your friends and family won’t fully grasp what it is you’re feeling, what you need to hear and do, and how to treat you in an appropriate way.
Your inner circle will inherently consist of those you hold closest to your heart. And true intimacy between you can only exist as long as you’re honest with them and them, you. You cannot expect them to know you need help, or you need gentler criticisms, or that you need to be challenged or pushed, unless you tell them. Conversely, it’s not fair for them to insist they know what’s best for you. Close relationships like this of love and support require mutual respect and truly listening to one another.
With proper support from those who love and care about you, and openness on your part, you’ll be able to sustain a healthy private community that’s fully conducive to your healing process.
To our healing,